My first Uni assignment

Discuss, factually, an important change in your life over the summer. This could be an event/person/loss.

My life is always tumultuous. This is a fact. Most people would argue that a change in circumstances ie. Moving from a Welsh village in the middle of nowhere to the largest city in England would be enough of a life changing event to write factually about. I, on the other hand, having had one of the best summers of my life so far, have decided upon another life changing event. This summer I met someone exceptionally special.

Feeling a little like I’m writing a back to school story in primary here, I would like to give you a little insight into my life before I met this person. Bare with me, I will get to make my point soon enough.

Living in Wales has never been an issue for me. I’m quiet, I enjoyed school, and I participated in school activities, up to a point. I have always known what I have wanted to do with my life. And known that I had to work hard to achieve my goals. So, life was full of schoolwork, occasional visits to London and Cardiff to see friends in University, and not a lot else.

I’ve never fitted in at home for one reason or another. Having lost one of my parents last year I retreated into the safety of myself, not allowing anyone near in fear of becoming hurt. Developing depression, which in itself is debilitating and soul sapping. To be as frank as I can, this was a bleak time. Although studying for AS and A levels. My life was barren. Trying to have some fun was an effort in itself. It was easier to be alone, in my own little world without the issues of having anyone too close to me.

But that was the past.

In April of this year I decided to try Twitter.

Not sure if I was interesting enough to converse with anyone for a length of time, perhaps too shy to initiate a chat. At first I almost gave up on making friends online. But somehow, I met some lovely people from all over the world. And then along came *him*.

Neither of us can quite remember how it happened. I’m sure I must have tweeted him first. But, anyone who knows me would vouch for this; I must have been extremely confident or possessed on that particular day. I assume it was an F1 day, as we have that interest in common, and I must have responded to one of his comments on the race. Very uncharacteristic of me, a girl who has so many defence mechanisms.

Soon after, I found that he was studying in London, close to the University I had chosen for myself. He was attending a course in writing (English and Journalism). He was also a quiet soul, shy, but gentle. Our shared interests grew; we swapped our respective Facebook accounts and MSN. Since that moment we have hardly been apart a full day without speaking to one another; but that is beside the point.

At first, when we began chatting on the IM, I was very weary. But as soon as we started to talk, there were no awkward silences, no regrets from giving him my IM address. We talked about everything, mostly menial things; that meant a lot to both of us. I chatted to him before an exam once when I was studying in the library. I sat that particular exam with a huge smile on my face. Soon we were texting and talking. Something was happening here.

We had shared this friendship for around a month and a half when he went away and I found full time employment. This was probably the turning point in our relationship. He went on a weeklong karting holiday in Le Mans, France. Unable to talk to him via text or MSN I found myself really missing his company. In fact; I hate to admit this as it makes me look very bad; I reverted to staring at his facebook photos for far too long at work. Wishing that he were home. I looked within me to try and grab a piece of reality. This could never work. Could it?

I did what I normally do when I feel angsty, I wrote about it and blogged about it and tried to decipher exactly what was going on in my head. The poetry that I produced all seemed to be about him or about how I was feeling. It was a bit absurd; after all, I’d never met him.

I began to discuss him openly with my friends. Showed them his facebook profile, gained an opinion. Most of them seemed to opt with “go for it”. I felt in the first time in a while, dare I say it, happy. The next big question was how did he feel about me? And should I let him through the barbed wire fence I’d constructed around myself all these years.

Again I think it was I who initiated the discussion upon his return. I knew he read my blog and I was, perhaps hoping is too weak a word, that he would associate one of the poems in particular with the way I was feeling about him. Would he perhaps think that I was writing about someone at home or someone I had met last weekend? I asked him.

The rest is history.

I can without a shadow of a doubt say, that *he* has changed me for the better. I can also add that this summer was possibly the best summer of my life. To summarise, the change in my life was the ability to let someone love me, and above all else, love him back in return. That someone was *him*. Thank you.